We first took to the drain with a manual snake auger, and while it pulled up some hideous stuff, the water was still pooling in the tub. Then, Sam grabbed the plunger. Out shot black evil crud out of the drain, which reminded us of the projectile vomit by the possessed girl in the "Exorcist." It was horrible.
Still, no luck. That meant bathing was to take place in the kitchen sink, temporarily or indefinitely, depending on what help we could get from the professionals.
The first guy who showed up at the house was armed to clean all of the crap from the drain. What he soon discovered was a bit of history hidden by a recently installed tub-surround. Now, tub-surrounds can be a convenient option - you just stick the whole unit in the bathroom, and presto! for not a whole lot of money you have a whole fiberglass tub/shower that is easy to maintain. We're really not in love with the tub-surround the previous owner chose. It's a purple-grey faux marble that clashes with the wonderfully vintage green tile. But, more importantly, when they installed the tub-surround, they never bothered to update the pipes. The vintage green tile goes with the vintage water trap behind the tub. We were told to call another plumber.
Day two of a kitchen-sink bath.
The second plumber, who we begged to come over, got the heads up on the water trap. He told us that these things date back 70, 80, 100 years ago, and it's now illegal to put in residential buildings. He also said that the only way to get the trap cover off is with C-4. Ha! Maybe he didn't read the rules of the house, but no one is allowed to use explosives inside, unless s/he is a representative of BAM. The plumber grumbled the whole time he replaced the water trap and installed a new section of pipe. When that was fixed, our hopeful selves asked if we could finally use the tub. Nope. He was a plumber, not a drain cleaner. Are you KIDDING me? Besides, he didn't bring an electric auger.
The third guy, in a flash, came to the house, finished cleaning the pipes, and literally ran out of the house. Sam had to chase after him, because he didn't reinstall the drain. Hurriedly, he screwed it into the drain hole, and took off. Ok, that's simple enough, but what about this ball of plumbers putty? Sam consulted our trusty DIY Homeowners book, and the editors are big fans of using the plumbers putty.
After redoing the drain job and scrubbing off the dried-up evil black vomit in the tub, we turned on the water. HALLELUJAH. The water is going down that drain in a lovely tornado! No more kitchen baths! No more getting odd looks at work because of our disheveled and greasy appearances!
So, after all of that, when we were fresh and clean, we mused about how much we appreciate the plumbers and drain cleaners that deal with shit and make our lives comfortable. We heart you plumbers.
